And the "Fun" begins.

It's been pretty quite the last few weeks.  Honestly, last week I didn't really think a whole lot about cancer at all.  I almost forgot I had it.  Reality came screaming back this week.

Symptom wise, I still don't feel like I have cancer.  But, I started with an Oncologist this week (good), supposed to start chemotherapy next week (not terrible I guess), and have been hamstrung by clerical errors (this has become a nightmare).

I have no complaints about my Oncologist, she's down to business and doesn't sugar coat anything.  She came in with a plan for chemo and we are taking steps to begin that.  3 cycles of chemo, each lasting 3 weeks.  The first week of each cycle knocks me out of any kind of productive use.  I will be at the cancer clinic for a minimum of 3 hours, but I was told to expect more like 4 or 5.  Add to that, I'm being injected with 2 drugs Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday that combined have a possible side-effect list nearly a mile long.  Tuesday I get the joy of having 3 drugs injected into me.  The most unnerving side effect of the 3rd drug is its possible impact on the lungs.  I have been strongly advised to NEVER go scuba diving for the rest of my life.  That has been something I've wanted to do for a long time.  I'm angry that I will never be able to experience that.  The second and third weeks I only have to go in on Tuesday and only have one drug injected into me.  9 weeks of what could become Hell on Earth.  

There could be a wrench thrown into this miss, a proverbial fly in the ointment if you will.  I need to have a PET scan done to be absolutely sure that the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes.  If it has, I'll need to have surgery to remove the affected nodes, recover, and then begin chemo.  According to a Nurse Practitioner, that could add 2 to 3 weeks to treatment.  Yay...

So that's what has to happen.  And today (2/18/2015) at 8AM I was supposed to have my PET scan (I'm currently waiting around to do a Pulmonary Functioning Test).  I did not have my PET Scan, at the moment my PET Scan is scheduled for a week from today.  My Oncologist ordered the scan on Monday.  The pre-certification process wasn't submitted to insurance until Tuesday.  It has to go through clinical review, which can take up to 2 business days.  I didn't learn any of this until about 4PM yesterday.  I have since called my insurance more times than I care to count (they have been nothing but helpful and friendly.  Everyone I've talked to has wished me luck).  I had a break through.  Someone (my Oncologist, a Nurse Practitioner, or the physicians assistant) from the office that ordered the scan can call and to a peer to peer review and expedite the certification.  I called the cancer clinic last night and left a message with the information and what they needed to do.  I have done, everything I possibly can to get this scan done today.  

And now I'm just waiting.  And that's really hard.  I'm focusing on my health.  Work has been super about everything that's happened in the last two months, and my supervisor should get a medal.  Starting Monday I'm being moved to contract, which is fair and a better outcome than I anticipated.  I'll get paid for the work I am able to do and can return to full-time employment when I am ready, but don't have any penalties for not working.  Due to the unexpected mess that has been caused by insurance (I'm not blaming them really) and the need for pre-certification, I've been instructed to count the hours I am unable to work this week to straighten this out and the time will retroactively be subtracted from 40 hours (as unpaid leave).

But, I'm still waiting.  I'm waiting to get my PET scan scheduled and done, I'm waiting to get my Pulmonary Functioning Test done, I'm waiting to hear if I need to have surgery, I'm waiting to start chemotherapy, I'm waiting to get my life back.  I want to be able to work full-time again.  I don't want to have to go to a (albeit finely decorated and comfortable) cancer center every day for a week.  I don't want my every thought to be focused on cancer treatment.  I don't want to be waiting anymore.

The support I have received has been overwhelming.  I draw strength from it each and every day.  I couldn't imagine having to walk this road alone.  Even with my wife, my family, friends, co-workers, even complete strangers, it's still terrible.  And I think it has to get worse before it gets better. 

But, the future is very much mine to control.  And I know that this treatment will make my future so much better.  And I still have hope.  Hope is my light shining in darkness.