Ozymandias

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings, look upon my works, ye Mighty!, and despair."
"But around the decaying ruin of the statue, nothing remains, only the “lone and level sands,” which stretch out around it." - Percy Shelley

Nothing matters more than what I do right now.  I've arguably done things in my life that are pretty remarkable.  Not unique, but remarkable.

In a twisted way, that trend continues.  Each year, approximately 8500 men will be diagnosed with testicular cancer.

As long as I persevere, I'll live.  But, I want to do more than live, I want to thrive.  As far as I'm concerned the first 24 years and 3 months of my life are moot, to a certain extent.

This afternoon I spent cleaning off my driveway from the most recent (and hopefully last) snow storm of 2015, dividing up a cow with a friend and former co-worker, eating dinner with my family and (whether he likes it or not) one of my best friends, and then playing five games of pool (getting progressively better each game).  The first pieces of my home-brewing system showed up.  I forgot I had cancer for a few minutes.

Two months is a long time to wait, but on the other hand it's two months I have before walking through Hell.     Two months delayed chemotherapy.  Two months before my cancer is officially staged.  Will it be stage II or stage III, will I need 2 cycles of chemo therapy or will I need 3 cycles of chemotherapy?  Will I need surgery?  In time, those questions will be answered.  But for now, I've got time, time that I didn't have a week ago.

I guess I'm still waiting.  But, I'm waiting for a cure.  I'm waiting for my life to change.

“To exist in this vast universe for a speck of time is the great gift of life. Our tiny sliver of time is our gift of life. It is our only life. The universe will go on, indifferent to our brief existence, but while we are here we touch not just part of that vastness, but also the lives around us. Life is the gift each of us has been given. Each life is our own and no one else's. It is precious beyond all counting. It is the greatest value we can have. Cherish it for what it truly is..... Your life is yours alone. Rise up and live it.”  -Terry Goodkind, Faith of the Fallen